WHAT?!?

If you've gained weight since your prime (high school, wedding day, last weigh in with WW, whatever), raise your hand. If you eat fast food even though it was invented by a man or Satan, raise your hand. If you've been told you probably have congestive heart failure, raise your hand. Oh, I'm the only one with my hand still up.

You heard right. Now, I don't want to be an alarmist so don't go crazy with comments, but it looks like that might be what is wrong with me now. This is coming from an uncomfirmed source so I could be way over-reacting, but it has been suggested by a few people lately when I explain to them what has happened with my body over the last month.

About 3 weeks ago two things happened. One, I started snoring terribly. We blamed it on the awesome sleep number bed we bought. Two, my hands and feet starting swelling something wicked. Like, in the hospital and 8 months pregnant and on an IV swelling. When I try to, for example, tweeze my eyebrows, my hand cramps. I can't grip things the way I used to. I find myself opening and closing my hands over and over to relieve the pain. My feet have swelled so bad that I can't put on my shoes. No, I am not over exaggerating. It was rapid and sudden onset and has not gotten any better with time. These are the possible reasons: rheumatoid arthritis, fibromayalgia, kindey failure and congestive heart failure. I had my kidneys tested when I ended up in the ER. They are doing the best they can. Fibro is unlikley because the swelling is so isolated and typically (correct me here LaNell) in more than just 2 places. It could be RA. I had an appointment scheduled for the day I got hurt so I have to make another pretty quick to get to the bottom of this.

So, I go get some reflexology done on my hands and feet and am telling the message therapist about the swelling and she says, "Have you started snoring recently?" Acutally, I have. Turns out those are two really common symptoms of congestive heart failure. I still have to get this all confirmed so it could be something way less scary sounding.

You know, I can see myself in the mirror so let's not pretend that I'm in the best shape of my life. BUT, I know people who are way worse off and their heart doesn't just up and fail them at 28 years old.

As I have a conversation with myself I realize I have two viable options: 1)Get heavy enough to have Gastric Bypass and lose weight that way. But, since I hate barfing and having paid attention Brent's efforts, I'm not up for that or 2) Make an effort to be healthy, excercise, and make sacrifices like everyone whose heart is still beating does. So, once I can (sorry for the nitty gritty details you're about to read) put a bra back on and shower by myself, I'll be hitting the pavement to try and stop my heart from quitting me. I'm sure most of my ailments are weight related. I don't want to hear any "I told you so's" either. And yes, I LOVE McDonalds. It is my comfort food. I've needed some serious comfort over the last few months. I guess I'm going to have to dig deep and find solace elsewhere. I do wish they could put me into a rehab program where they put you in an induced coma during the withdrawl period 'cause I can tell you right now: It ain't gonna be pretty.

Bad timing, too, since Cadbury eggs only come out once a year and it's now. I tell ya, HF still has it on Comedy Central and I'm sweatin' under those lights. Ugh. (No pictures this time since I really don't want to put a bad picture of myself or a rotten heart up.)