G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

Why is it that when you say, "We're pregnant!" People say, "Congratulations!" rather than sitting down and sobbing their hearts out in empathy?

Lexi is sick as a dog. She was running a pretty steady fever yesterday, but has since broken that. I actually got advice to put 1/4 cup white vinegar in her bath water and that would help. What do I have to lose? So, Marti put the vinegar in there and Lexi has no temp today. Causation or correlation? Do I really care? The fever is gone.

Lexi looks about as good as I do today. My hair is sticking up everywhere, my shirt has stains on it, my bottoms have stretched out past the point of being "Oh, those are cute, where did you get them?" to "Um, it looks like you have a load back there", I don't remember if I even brushed my teeth and I'm pretty sure I have patches of dry skin all over my face. I made us lunch at 2 (after her attempt to nap which only resulted in a lot of crying and hacking) and am just now (4:27) eating the cold "yellow death" (macaroni and cheese) as we call it. As, the post title suggests, I'm at the height of glamour.

She's starving, but cries everytime I try to feed her. She cries when I suggest putting on clothes, cries when I ask if she wants her hair done, and then gets even more upset when I do what she's asked and leave her alone. She's miserable. Of course, they don't make Baby Nyquil so we give her Benadryl and sometimes it seems to help and others, I think, we just give it to her because it makes us feel like we may sleep through the night.

So, when you call me and say, "We're pregnant" the silence you'll hear is really me trying not to sob too loudly. Love ya!

Ammendment: I realized after reading and thinking about my own expression of feeling with this post that I sound really negative. After pondering what I was really feeling, I came up with this (back peddling, maybe but true none-the-less):

Watching a child suffer as Lexi has is probably the most awful part of being a parent. It is heart wrenching and frustrating. Parenting is hard. Loving and rearing a child takes you to the gates of heaven and to the slums of hell. However, it demands that you feel. You can't be indifferent and really be a parent. I love Lexi and will probably check on her every hour to make sure she is comfortable and resting. So, I'm not the ogre I pretend to be, at least not intentionally.