It's getting harder and harder to breathe

Yesterday, I was riding with my friend and ended up riding in an ambulance to UNM Hospital before the day was out. We went out on the ditch banks on our most reliable horses. As we're moving along, Amy says Diablo is feeling tight and asked if we could switch horses. No problem. As I step up on Diablo (anyone who has met him knows that he is a huge, Thoroughbred gelding so stepping up really means climbing up the side of him), he spun around (also called rollback - he made a 180 degree turn keeping his hind end stationary while spinning on the front end) and took off bucking. He's an ex-racehorse so he has a lot of get up and go when he taps into his resources. So, I ended up hanging on the side of him since I wasn't on him completely when he took off. However, because I had the momentum of trying to get on and him turning into me during his rollback, I ended up hanging off of the right side. As I tried to get in the middle of him, the feeling of me being so off balance scared him even more so he started moving faster and bucking harder. I decided that I better bail off or I'd get really hurt. As I push myself away from him, he bucks and I end up in the air (Amy says I was launched about 3-4 feet above the horse before I made my graceful decent onto the ground) and then come down on my right side. The ditch banks are frozen solid and the dirt is packed hard by the vehicles that use it.

I swear I felt lightening go through my body when I hit the ground and bounced before coming to a stop. It was kind of like jumping out of a car going 20 mph and landing on the asphalt. I knew I was hurt pretty bad. Amy jumps off of I Be Streakin' and starts making phone calls. Now usually, when I get hurt, I take a few deep breaths and literally, get back on the horse. However, I could not breathe let alone get up. After making a couple of calls to get someone to take the horses back home, she called the ambulance. It took 40 minutes for them to get to me. I was so cold that the EMT supervisor who had come while we were waiting for the paramedics asked if I wanted a jacket over my head. I said, "Now, don't get out the body bag just yet!"

When help arrived, they strapped me onto a backboard and strapped my head to it. As they roll me over to the bus, I start to get car sick. Thankfully, they gave me something to stop that since puking with broken bones hurts. It took three attempts to find a vein that would support the IV so I look like a total drug addict today. The educated guess about my injuries was that I had fractured my hip, cracked ribs and maybe had a neck fracture. So, they cut off my favorite sweatshirt and the only riding jeans I fit into (see the post regarding running for further details) to start working on me. Side note: my ER doc was a University of Utah grad who is in one of the Albuquerque wards. Anyhow, they took x-rays and got me on some pain meds. However, during the 6 hours I was there, even with morphine every hour, I still hurt. Not once while I was there did we get the pain managed.

They had a cat scan done to make sure I didn't have internal bleeding. I had to wear this horrible neck brace that was more painful than the actual injuries for 5 of the 6 hours I was there. I kept taking it off and they would yell at me. Finally, I took it off and threw it on the floor. The nurse told me I needed to wear it. I told her I would walk my crippled self out of there if they even tried to put it back on. Another side note: for those of you who love me, if I ever end up needing a bed pan on a regular basis, please take me out to the barn and shoot me. Totally humiliating and awful.

The good news is that nothing is broken. My ribs and sternum are bruised. Breathing is really painful. My hip is so badly bruised they could see the damage to the tissue on the cat scan. My butt swelled so much that I look like J-Lo on one side. If you've ever seen me, you know that is some serious swelling. The pictures show where the IV was supposed to go - did I mention that they had to use one of the unsuccessful veins in the ER because I need two IVs; it does not feel good to have them put a needle into a spot that has just been poked an hour earlier - and the small road rash I got. Those are obviously the most minor of my scuffs and scrapes.

Doctor thinks it will be 3 or 4 months before I really heal. I always say the if God needs you to get the message and you aren't he will lop you off at the knees and get you where he needs you in a hurry. I've been having promptings that I would be get hurt badly while riding for about 6 months. However, I had issued a "Return to sender, no forwarding address available" every time I got that feeling. Well, I got the message loud and clear yesterday.

When I got home, Lexi saw me and started bawling. She was crying, "Momma, momma" and just wanted a little Momma time. I can't pick her up and I know that hurts her feelings. She has no idea what is going on so it only makes her more upset. I had already decided in the hospital that my first priority, responsibility and love is my daughter. I will not be starting colts or taking problem horses. I don't know if I'll be training horses at all. Diablo is my lesson horse, my tried and true, exceptionally well trained buddy. I ride him when I want to have a good ride. Now I know that horses are animals and I never assume a horse will always be perfect, but Diablo and I have a relationship of trust because he has proven to be awesome. So, to think that taking horses that are broke, gentle, experienced and generally wonderful is going to exempt me from getting hurt is just plain ignorant. Thus, my hesitation to train horses period.

I know I'll keep I Be Streakin' to ride for recreation. I was just asked to head up the 4-H horse group and I really enjoy giving kids lessons. I'm sure I'll be able to keep busy that way. I don't want to end up missing out on my child's life and my own life because I am stubborn. I have been given agency to be able to make good decisions. I don't want the choice to be made for me. I'd rather choose now what I know to be best for me and my family.


Blowing the whistle on me

Even though I've had an awesome week, my struggles are still present (darn). I loved this video when it first came out and as I've listened again to the song it seems to resonate with me. I feel like I used to be so full of energy, so dynamic, immune to pain; I was just worried about myself and could ignore any hurt or weakness and that the facade has been coming down as life tests me. This song may seem sad, but I think it's an honest reflection of who I am right before I stop feeling sorry for myself and get 'back on the horse'.

This Train Don't Stop There Anymore
By Elton John and Bernie Taupin

You may not believe it But I don't believe in miracles anymore
And when I think about it I don't believe I ever did for sure
All the things I've said in songs All the purple prose you bought from me
Reality's just black and white The sentimental things I'd write
Never meant that much to me

I used to be the main express All steam and whistles heading west
Picking up my pain from door to door
Riding on the storyline Furnace burning overtime
But this train don't stop, This train don't stop,
This train don't stop there anymore

You don't need to hear it But I'm dried up and sick to death of love
If you need to know it I never really understood that stuff
All the stars and bleeding hearts All the tears that welled up in my eyes
Never meant a thing to me Read 'em as they say and weep
I've never felt enough to cry
When I said that I don't care It really means my engine's breaking down
The chisel chips my heart again The granite cracks beneath my skin
I crumble into pieces on the ground

I used to be the main express All steam and whistles heading West
Picking up my pain from door to door
Riding on the story line, furnace burning overtime
But this train don't stop, this train don't stop
This train don't stop there anymore

But this train don't stop, this train don't stop
This train don't stop there anymore


My personal pensive

So, this week I've not posted much because I feel like I've learned too much to try and organize and write it all down. In Harry Potter, Professor Dumbledore has a pensive. He puts his wand to his temple and can pull his thoughts into this pensive. It's like a journal, but when you look into it, you are "pulled" into the memory and re-live the moment. I wish I had one of those. I could get my thoughts out of my head so I could relax a bit, have an accurate account of the days of my life (cue theme song from Days of our Lives), and experience significant events again if I wanted to.

Anyhow, I am going to write something before I get so behind I completely abandon the whole blog entirely.

Tuesday my great friend, Shannon, had twins! She made it to 38 weeks and they did a c-section because Emily was transverse and Shannon's blood pressure was really high. She had the babies around 5:10 and called me at just after 7. She called me herself and said everything went perfectly. Anthony weighed 5 lbs 9 oz and Emily weighed 5 lbs 14 oz. They were about 20 inches each! They had great APGAR scores and have been eating pretty well. Anthony has dropped to 5 lbs 1 oz and if he gets below 5# they are going to put him into the NICU and start supplementing his breast milk. That will be hard, but if he loses much more weight, he'll have a hard time regulating body temperature and that is not good. They are hoping to go home tomorrow - so far the prognosis is excellent that they will go home with both. A total miracle.

I went up for about an hour on Wednesday to introduce myself to the twins and then went for about 8 hours on Thursday since Ben had to go back to work. I appreciate babies so much more now that I have had my own. Shannon is already way more patient that I ever was and that will be a huge blessing as things get more hectic when she gets home. I picked up the room, got the babies clean linens and clothes, made sure the nurses kept Shannon regular on her pain meds, changed diapers, recorded feeding information and just tried to be quiet and helpful without Shannon having to ask. She actually said I brought peace to the environment. No one has ever told me I was peaceful - really. Since Anthony wasn't eating as much as he should, I showed her how to "Kangaroo". She slept with him that way for about 2 hours. I took Emily and she slept on my chest and then the nurse came to give her some shots. She was not happy, but I was able to calm her down before I had to leave. When I left, Shannon had Anthony on her chest still and Emily in the crook of her arm. That is true joy.

Shannon asked how I was doing while I was there on Wednesday. She wondered if it hurt to have lost a pregnancy so recently and try to be happy for someone else knowing what I had lost. It felt really good to say that I had gotten over the anger of loss. I felt sincerely happy for her and very privelaged to know their family. I didn't used to feel this way. It took a lot out of me to be so mad at God and the world for so many years about our struggles to have a family. A big difference with this loss was knowing that I am not being punished becasue we don't have babies easily. I'm not competitive with God now, trying to get pregnant to prove that I'm worthy to have kids. I'm grateful for the spirit we have been blessed to have for this lifetime with Lexi. I look back and see I lost out on a lot of joy by being mad. It's such a relief to be happy for other people!

Wednesday we also had New Beginnings. The motto this year is "Be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works". We had the theme of "A tisket, a tasket, have you filled your basket? Are you prepared to 'be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works?'" We had one leader portray Little Red Riding Hood and she carried a basket with items representing the tools she would need to overcome the obstacles of life. We included:

A pocket size Book of Mormon
A candle to represent testimony
A prayer rock
A journal
A pencil for the journal
A heart shaped pencil sharpener to represent the love we have to have for ourselves and others to live the commandments
A pair of gloves to represent service

We had moms portray the obstacles that our youth face. Red Riding Hood had to use her tools to get past dressing immodestly (I wore pajamas and chewed gum as loud as I could, another mom wore a too low top with low rise pants and the other - also our Relief Society President - wore the grungiest outfit she could and said she just couldn't deal with putting on nylons and a skirt for a church event.) We contemplated wearing thongs and pulling them up above our pants, but thought that would probably push some of our attendees over the edge. Also, it would gross everyone out.

The second group of moms were gossiping and the last group had their cell phones out asking if Red Riding Hood wanted to see the pictures and text messages they had received.

Red Riding Hood made it clear she was on her way to the Temple and then the Celestial Kingdom and wouldn't dress immodestly, hurt other women and herself by gossiping, or let media pull her away her path.

It turned out pretty good. The girls got a laugh out of their moms and leaders playing the roles of temptation.

When I asked the group who had ever received a text message spreading gossip about other people, 90% of them raised their hands. Moms included!

I had to give a talk and I encouraged them to honor their fellow women because they would be some of their strongest advocates as they grow. Don't help the trend of destroying our sisters; I think that is so important. Women can sometimes be their own worst enemies. I explained that I hope they will use the tools given in the basket to be steadfast and immovable and to cause others to rely on them. That if they are strong in their faith, they will always be of service to others just by being good examples. At the end, they each got a cute basket with all of the items.

I love working with the girls. They are vibrant, funny, obnoxious, smart and have great potential. I feel rejuvenated after every mutual activity and our Sunday meetings. Most of the time they give me more than I could ever give back.

This week I got to be close to the veil while visiting with the twins and reminded of how awesome kids can be. When I contemplate the implications of eternity, I realize what a speck this whole life thing is in the grand scheme of things. I imagine that the journey to Earth for babies is like a slide. Jesus Christ is at the top telling them to remember him and come back. They are so close to the Savior and so peaceful.

All in all, a very fulfilling week spiritually. So, when I say I learned too much to write it all down I lied a little bit because I had more to say than I even knew myself.


I Did It!

They say it you have to run at least 5 miles to get the "runner's high". I think I got it today! Actually, I was just so out of breath everything just seemed a little brighter.

So, I did it. I ran. Well, let's define run. I ran until my calves seized up and then walked. Then, I ran again. I know I looked like those people you see "running" and wonder, "That isn't even running. All they are doing is walking and dragging their toes between each step".

Never the less, I put forth the effort and have plenty of sweat to show for it. I went to a friend's about 1/2 hour after I finished and she asked me if I was ok. I said yes and she said, "No, really, can I get you a drink or something?"

Actually, she said, "What were you doing?"


"Like, after Lexi or something?"

Then she offered me the drink. I think my heart rate stayed elevated for most of the day after I got done.

Now, please excuse me while I have a Cinna-stick from Pizza Hut for all of my efforts.


Easy like Sunday morning

We have the beloved 11-2 hours for church which used to be awesome when we were newly married and would eat a feast of pancakes, bacon, eggs and then nap a bit and then make it to church 5 minutes early so we could enjoy the prelude music. Now this means waking up at 8 (not bad, really), watching Blue's Clues, trying to shower, go to Ward Council (today I started getting ready, had a horrible skin and hair day and ended up not going because our reliable Excursion is dead), shove food down Lexi at 10 (all the while fasting ourselves because we forget to eat and don't get back until after 2:30 - I should start praying more so at least it will count for something) so that she won't be a total banshee during Sacrament, start getting her dressed and ready 45 minutes before we need to leave and still walk in the door 5 minutes late only to have Lexi crumble 20 minutes into the meeting because it's nap time.

Thankfully, she fell asleep on me and slept for about 2 hours. We had to make the "transfer" so I could go to Young Women's and she was so tired she slept through that and until 10 minutes before church was over. However, at about 5 she had a meltdown that continued through her bath. She's going to bed early because sleeping on some one's shoulder clearly didn't provide the rest she really needed.

We did enjoy a very nice walk in the sunshine around 4. Lexi looked like the kid from A Christmas Story but enjoyed our time out. The kids in the neighborhood welcomed us as they realized we were "the new people on the street". We also met our neighbor across from us who has lived here for 14 years. Everyone has been so friendly. We are really pleased with the area and (I can't believe I'm saying this because I am a nomad at heart) hope to really put down some roots and stay a while.

Video of Lexi running down the hall in her oh-so-cute boots.


Run, Forest, Run

I am making it publicly known that I will be starting a new challenge come Monday: Running. Or as I like to say, "I was ruunnninnngg." Don't be mistaken, I will look like Forest at the end of his trek across America - dirty, sweaty, with a crazy fro.

I'm hoping to achieve two goals: 1) fit in my pants again and 2) a good physical outlet and place to organize my thoughts.

Something else I have committed to do: wear jeans at least once a week. I've been sporting sweats, yoga pants, pajama pants, even Allen's pants for, like, the last 4 months. I put my jeans on and holy crap! They don't fit very well. I think a person should put their pants on at least once a week to ensure they are not exceeding their limits.

Trying to see the forest through the trees

We made lots of progress today on the yard! We look out and see so much to do still. Ahh, the benefits of home ownership. Our yard is as level as the Rockies so getting the posts set was quite a feat. We managed to check and re-check ourselves into getting most of the Eastern-most boundary fence set. Allen welded the top rail on almost all of what we had done. He's left an opening for a 12 foot gate on one end and a 6 foot gate on the yard side. The photos are below. We have 3 more posts to set - oh did I mention that the reason we quit was because our stellar cement mixture screamed out in horror and died? Any who, we'll cross that bridge tomorrow.

We also got all of the room down in the barn. Yes! Stall fronts here we come. I have a client horse coming tomorrow, one in training, one on the way and another set for mid-February. Spring is the busy season for horse folk and it seems like we went from Fall to Spring and have completely forgotten about Winter. What!?! It's still January, you mean the middle of Winter? Better to have the business than no one coming at all, right? Our big goal is to have an "open house" when we get everything done. So, I have 5 or so years to plan the party. No, seriously, we are hoping to host this gathering in the Summer. I think it's all going to be very nice when we get it done.

Aren't you glad to be on our journey with us as you read my antics? Allen asked how to create a post, but I skillfully evaded his question so I am the only one with the password!

I can't believe I'm even up at this late hour (it's 8:08), but digging holes, carrying cement bags, and being a human being has left me exhausted. Tally ho.


Sometimes it can feel like this

My wonderful friend LuAnn sent this. Boy, is this a sweet lesson. My bishop once said, "You've got to have a panoramic view of life." What a true statement. There's a much bigger picture than we can sometimes grasp. When you really think of it two things come to mind: 1) God really trusts us to raise the future and 2) It's really a miracle that we, as mere humans, can actually do it and do it really well.

I'm Invisible

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book And I would discover what would become for me life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
Cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was
almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, > > even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction . But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime, because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

It's the couches!

As you may have read, Davis dog has had a terrible time adjusting. I finally realized today that he is totally lost without his couches. He used to lay on the headrest part of the cushions. This afforded him a quiet, soft place to lay. He could get up and away from Lexi and snuggle down for a good nap. We sold the couches when we moved in (and got really great family, theater style, leather looking sectional cause we finally have a really good sized family room) and he has been lost ever since.
We won't be getting the old couches back so Davis dog will have to adjust. At least he doesn't despise the whole place. He just needs to find his own space. I guess he isn't that different from the rest of us, huh?


Just a normal day

Lexi and I had a pretty good day today. It's amazing to think about what made today so good. We went to Walmart (the great and spacious building) without any problems and stayed in budget, Lexi took a great nap, she ate a great lunch and she was happy outside. We did make a run to the tack store to take a picture of a saddle I have for sale only to find that the memory card was at home in the printer. So, we high tailed it back home, grabbed the card, and went back. Usually, a day filled with those type of events would make me crazy, but we only had that incident so I'm still feeling pretty good about our accomplishments.
She had a great time feeding horses with me and I thought she looked so cute. I am not biased. ;o)


Things I'm grateful for right now

I'm really grateful for the following things right now:

1. My hands and good friends. A good friend of mine, who is a mother, is an avid team roper. She was in Texas visiting family and went to a roping. As she dallied, she caught her right hand in the rope. As she said, "It popped my thumb and first finger off." I asked her if she was ok. Um, no, you dork. I just lost my THUMB and FINGER for THE REST OF MY LIFE. She didn't say that, but I wouldn't have been mad if she did.

She said, "You know. God has given me peace. You can take anything from me, just don't take my peace." I've thought about her a lot in the last two weeks and she has been such an example. I'm sure, as she mentioned, she'll have good and really bad days as she learns how to live and use her arms in a different way. However, she has chosen to try and be hopeful, patient, and filled with a love for service (for others as she's called me to see if I AM OK!). I'm grateful that there are people like me, who live with struggles, and are good examples of our Savior.

2. More friends. I was talking to another friend of mine who lost her mom in December. She was mentioning how she's reading the Book of Mormon again. She is jotting down her notes and thoughts as she reads and really trying to learn something new this time around. She was mentioning that she already feels really blessed by her new effort. I explained my point of view: We have the tools at our fingertips. The scriptures, prayer, the Temple, etc. But, it does require an effort on our part to make them work in our lives. It's a lot like a shovel. You know it's good for just a few things: digging a hole and picking up dog poop. It's really good at those things. But, you have to pick it up and put a little effort into the whole project. The gospel is a lot like that. We have to use the tools. We have to be willing to put in the investment to feel the blessings. I'm still struggling a little with the whole thing because I'd really like to look out in the yard and see the holes already dug. I'd be pretty weak if that was the case though. And yes, sometimes life seems a lot like dog poop.

I'm grateful for good friends who allow me to say things I need to know and wouldn't realize otherwise.



Allen made lots of progress today. He welded the top rail on a portion of the fence, sunk about 5 posts, demolished the room in the barn (which included moving lots of shelving material), and capped the ends of the fence. The cement mixer broke at about 2 p.m. and we forgot to rinse the wheelbarrow out after putting cement in it. So, the day was not without its mistakes.

I helped him this afternoon. We both came away with minor injuries, but we made a big dent in what needs to be done around here. We're all still sick, but Allen says his fever broke in the middle of the night so he felt pretty good about working outside. Lexi has been cranky, but if she's got what we do (and she does), I don't blame her.

The inside of the house still leaves much to be desired, but we manage to come inside and not feel totally overwhelmed so that tells me we're putting our efforts in the right place.

Mia started growling in the middle of the night. I got up and spanked her. This morning, Allen sees the the horse is out. I felt bad for getting after Mia for doing her job. Next time, I'll listen to her. The good thing is that Cocoa is so herd bound he didn't leave. He wasn't bleeding and had four legs so all seems well.

I will say that Davis dog has not settled in very well. Every time I get up, he runs to the front door begging to get in the car and "go home". Poor Davis dog.

It's just after 7 and I think we'll all be in bed before 9. Such is the life of a working - no, let me correct that - such is the life of anyone who is alive. Sounds a little Yogi Berra-ish, huh?


It's not even 9 and Allen's in bed.

I shouldn't be too shocked since this is pretty usual for our Friday date night. Allen is down with the crud and is trying to heal. I know he's mentally stressed thinking, "I'm sick as a dog and if I don't get out there in the freezing cold and get those stall fronts up Traci's head is going to spin off like a top." I don't want to admit it, but he's right. However, I think I'll try to be really mature and give him a break.
Here's the deal: we moved in December 14th and I told Allen to have electrical, water, pipe fence, stalls, an arena, 5 gates, and any other incidentals that may come up done by January 8th.
What happened? He worked his tail, mom came to visit and worked her tail, Marti came and worked her tail, Brent and Laura came and worked their tails.
We have 6 posts in the ground, water and electricity to the 30x30 metal structure that is to be the barn. The good news is that the horses are alive and I have clients coming which should fund the remainder of our upgrades (did I mention the money is all gone, too?)
It seems that when you're on the winning side with time, you have no money and when you're on the winning side with money you have no time. We're on the losing side of both.
Reading this you might think I'm ungrateful. Don't rush to judgment! Really, though, we have lots. We're just this close to having the "American Dream".
I think I've developed carpal tunnel so I'll be signing off. Here's to hoping Allen can get better in the one day we have to recuperate!

Long overdue

So, this is my attempt to do what I am incredibly bad at: communication. It stands to reason that this blog would have been created eons ago, but alas, I have finally come to my senses. Family and friends far and near can now take a sneak peek and our daily wanderings.

About Me

My photo
What started as a way to communicate with far away friends and family has become a place for this horse trainer/HR manager turned stay at home mom of 3 girls to hold on to a bit of her own identity. It's my take on the ins and outs, the ups and downs, the thoughts and feelings, the mistakes and triumphs of this family as we bumble our way to eternity.