Habits of Happiness

I'm currently reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I've realized two things while reading this world changing book:

1. I am not highly effective.
2. These habits are the gospel put into terms everyone will listen to.

If Stephen Covey would have said, "Read the Book of Mormon and the general conference talks, apply the advice to your daily life and you'll be able to change your world and others' for good" the world would have mocked him, ignored him or worse. But, he put the advice we've been given for years into a format that is appealing to business owners and tada! Insta-success.

Thus far in my reading, Covey has encouraged his readers to be positive, make changes from within, focus on perfecting yourself rather than others, and do a number of other things that are proven to help us cultivate success in this lifetime. He talks about principles of good living such as integrity and honesty. He refers many times to the endowments we've received as human beings (self-awareness and personal agency) and how we are ultimately responsible for what happens to us, not others. He emphasizes that natural consequences will always follow our choices. There may be social consequences, emotional consequences, etc. that will vary but the natural consequences cannot change. He uses the example of walking in front of a moving train: we can choose when and where, but we cannot choose what will happen when the train hits us. We can try to blame others, but when it comes down to it, we can be acted upon or act for ourselves. He encourages the reader to be. Instead of saying "If my wife were more loving, I could have happiness", we are to say "I can be happy". It is our choice to be positive and create good feelings around us or to continue to blame others for how we feel. He also reminds us to put our efforts into the thing we really care about. He mentions, repeatedly, that many a man has come to his death bed wishing he had spent more time with his family but never wishing he had spent more time at the office.

The leaders of the church have been counseling us for years to have personal integrity. We are always encouraged to work on our own imperfections when we are displeased with another. It's the whole rod in the eye theory. How can we clearly see the wrongs of others when we, ourselves, are imperfect? We know that our Heavenly Father has given us free choice, or agency, to make our own decisions. We are always in charge of our lives. We cannot blame our circumstances for failure, disappointment or any other negative feeling. Heavenly Father has given us the power (agency) to create the life we want - it may not be easy - but we can ultimately have the life we desire.

This is not the first time I've read this book. I feel the same way I did the first time I read it. I came to the same conclusions: live the gospel more fully and I will have a better life. While reading, I am frequently reminded of the quotes from prominent church leaders that have stuck with us over time (I like to see the year these comments were made; it helps to remind me that the gospel is a concrete good of source and always trendy, no matter what is going on in the world):

Regarding Agency
"While we are free to choose, once we have made those choices, we are tied to the consequences of those choices." (Ensign, November 1988, pg. 7) - Russel M. Ballard

"Ours is the active, not the passive part. Man is to act, and not be acted upon. We are to take possession, and not to be taken possession of." (OAT, p. 111) - Hugh Nibley

On Happiness
"Happiness comes from within, and not from without." (CR, October 1966, p. 39) - Milton R. Hunter

Success
"The success of this life is not measured at the end of it by what we have, but rather by what we are." (CR, October 1912, p. 25) - Rulon S. Wells

and lastly

"Every dimension of the gospel is relevant to one or more of our social and political problems in our time." (New Era, Feb. 1975, p. 78) - Neal A. Maxwell

Re-reading this book as been a good reminder of how living the gospel more fully can really have a positive impact on life. It's like a shot of optimism and hope. It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day humdrum and to feel sorry for ourselves. It's easy to feel like we're in the middle of a tornado and just holding on, hoping to weather the storm. The reality is though that we each have all the tools we need to be happy or feel effective. It's a personal decision to affect positive change in our own circle of influence.