Deep Thoughts by Traci Riddle

If your bra's under wire breaks through the fabric, a heavy duty band aid will corral the pokey beast until you're able to make a permanent fix (mine has been this way for 3 weeks - just remove band aid at washing and re-apply a fresh one after drying).

Does anyone else who uses blogger hate the way it formats your spaces all cookey like?

The more I want Lexi to be independent, the more I find it bothersome when she is independent. For example, I want her to be comfortable in her friend's homes and run off to play. But, when she waves and says "Bye Mommy" so easily I get a little sad.

You can substitute evaporated milk for half and half. It's a one to one ratio.

I keep wondering why it feels like I always have a foot in my throat. I then realize I DO have someone's foot in my throat.

Is it a reflection of my true state of mind when a German friend jokingly calls me a Nazi and I want to reply, "Yeah, you're one to talk."?

In our house, the theme song for a woman using a breast pump is: "IIIII looookeedd out the window and what did I see?" Hand gestures must be used to their fullest effect.

I think your marriage may be in trouble when your husband spoons the dog more than he spoons you.

I hate it when people say, "You always think you're right." Well, duh. Would I keep doing what I'm doing if I thought it was the wrong way?

From The Zen of Sarcasm:

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

And lastly:

Do not write a check with your mouth that your actions cannot cash. - Neal A. Maxwell