11.18.2011

Beating the Beast

My mouth watering, I ran toward the sink.

I can make it, I thought.

I have to make it.

It was the second time that day.

I'd made it the time before. I could do it again.

I got to the sink and thrust the faucet handle up as fast as I could.

The water came gushing out and filled the bowl in seconds.

I grabbed for the dish soap and gave the bottle a hard squeeze.

Relief washed over me.

I'd done it.

I'd made two different desserts.

And I hadn't eaten any part of them.

I'd taken the bowl with the gooey, rich, decadent batter, and before I could succumb to the consuming desire to openly lick the contents therein, filled it with water and soap preventing myself from giving in.

Giving up.

I had made a commitment to myself and I kept it.

I beat the beast.

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What started as a way to communicate with far away friends and family has become a place for this horse trainer/HR manager turned stay at home mom of 3 girls to hold on to a bit of her own identity. It's my take on the ins and outs, the ups and downs, the thoughts and feelings, the mistakes and triumphs of this family as we bumble our way to eternity.