A Dying Breed

I have a confession: I get genuinely excited for my annual (no, not that one, gosh) eye exam. Not because I get to amaze the staff with my ability to stay perfectly still while they torture me with medieval tools like pupil dilation and that little puff that you wait for and wait for and then, no wait, PUFF! So unnatural. Anyhow, I love that exam because I get to choose new glasses.

So, I got up early, triumphed over a late babysitter and a cranky baby who insisted upon being held while I applied my makeup and made it, albeit 5 minutes late, to my early morning appointment. I even did my hair so it would frame my face so I could choose the hippest and hottest, most trendy glasses out there.

I had said babysitter for 3 whole hours (but with the lateness and Addie's situation, I only had about 2.5 hours). I did not want to choose my new accessories under duress and who can't get in and out in about 2 hours? So, I roll in at 9:05 for a 9 a.m. appointment. My paperwork had been filled out ahead of time, I donned my insurance card like a pro and sat down with a magazine. Soon, it was 9:20. Then, 9:30. Then 9:45. The heat began to rise in my face as I thought about how freakin' rude it is to make a patient wait for 40 minutes without so much as a "We're sorry we're insanely slow, but we hope to see you in 10 minutes." Nothing. Finally, at 9:55 I approached the front desk: "Excuse me, I'm wondering if you can tell me when I might see the doctor?" "You'll have to ask the tech when she comes to get you." Thanks. Why do you even work here you worthless, texting, facebooking slob? So, I took my seat again. This time, I was arming myself with hostile words for this so-called tech who was supposedly coming to get me.

Now, it's after 10 o'clock. She comes out and calls my name. I look at her with full on disdain, but say nothing. "How are you?" Stone cold silence. She has me sit in the chair and begins her schpeel.

"Before you start..." I say.

"Well, if we're going to dilate..." (my eyes, people, eyes)

"No, really. Before you start. I need to see the doctor and be on my way home by 11:00. I have a sitter at home with my kids. I can't be late and my 8 month old also needs to eat around that time. So, if I won't be done with the doctor and have time to choose my glasses within the next hour (HOUR, I can't believe I even had to have this conversation), there's no point in starting the exam."

Nurse : {looking down her nose at me} "Your baby is that high maintenance?"

Me: {looking up with steel in my eyes} "No, she's that sick. She has some health problems and I'm the only one around right now who can feed her."

{faking concern} "I'm sorry."

"So, will I see the doctor or not."

"Probably not." {leading me out of exam room} "Let's get you in for the first appointment of the morning. We won't be running behind then. That's the best time if you have a tight schedule."

"Well, I have a 3 hour window to get anything done."

"Oh! That should be plenty of time!"

"Yeah. That's what I thought, too, but clearly it is not. You know, my appointment was at 9."

"It was?!?"

At this point, I made a choice to ignore anything else this woman said. As we were standing at the front desk, she kept talking (she was clearly uncomfortable with me as I refused to smile, or offer her that "it's ok" that everyone wants to hear when they've screwed someone else over, but I wasn't going to give her that. No, I wanted her to know that the customer service sucked and I was pissed.) and muttering about time management and other nonsense. She finally gave up and let the front desk handle the "irate customer".

Turns out, the next appointment available for high maintenance people like me isn't until October. Turns out, they lost my business. What the heck has happened to good, old-fashioned customer service? How hard is it to communicate with the people held captive in the office? You know, most of the time, people just want to know what's going on. Even if it's not ideal, if you keep them informed, they'll generally go with the flow. It's when you try to cover up the obvious that mutiny ensues. And what about an apology for screwing up my whole morning? Nothing. No regard for my time, my effort, my life. And, what about the comment about my "high maintenance baby"? I just about came up out of that chair and throttled her. What a bi...oh, this is a family show. Ok, so she was incredibly rude. I wanted to punch her in the throat and kick her in the shins.

So, for my babysitting fee, I got to sit in a waiting room for an hour. But don't you worry about little ol' me. I'll get mine. Yeah, I'm going to complain to the eyeglass Gods about their crappy excuse for an office here in my town. I'm going to specifically mention the tech who let her mouth run without thinking and totally insulted me. And, I'm going to talk crap about them to every single person who will listen so their reputation is tarnished. Yeah, I'm not taking the high road on this one. I don't feel bad about it one bit. And I still have to try and get my glasses because mine are, like, so last year's.