Dear Elliptical

I see you there across the room. With your non-skid pedals, long handles, and big fly wheel. I know I should just walk over and introduce myself. I know I should push your buttons and walk all over you. I know we should get hot and sweaty together. Ours should be a life long relationship.

But the truth is you scare me. I can look beyond your bright digital display with various programs and see you're going to cause me nothing put pain. I know you'll make my thighs burn and my heart race.You'll leave me feeling breathless and dirty. You exist only to torture me. No matter how hard I try, in the end, you will own me.

And that is why, tempting as you are, I stay away. Who knows. Maybe someday, someday soon even, I'll overcome your stronghold of intimidation. Until then, we'll continue this game of cat and mouse. You with your pedals still and your display dark. And me with my midnight snacks and vivid fantasies of firm body parts.

Your pawn,


Anonymous said...

Thank you for continuing to make me laugh!

Amy Buff said...

oh the joy of this relationship... i know the pain.

About Me

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What started as a way to communicate with far away friends and family has become a place for this horse trainer/HR manager turned stay at home mom of 3 girls to hold on to a bit of her own identity. It's my take on the ins and outs, the ups and downs, the thoughts and feelings, the mistakes and triumphs of this family as we bumble our way to eternity.