Here We Are

Addie is smiling and cooing when she's not crying. It almost makes it seem worth it! She's still struggling to eat, but the doctor thinks it is because the formula she's on tastes like "swill". He recommended putting chocolate syrup in to make it taste better. She didn't seem to notice but had lots of liquid poo after. Need less to say, we stopped that pretty quick.

Another glorious side effect of this formula is that it leaves very little left over after digestion. So, she has a hard time, um, having BMs. The remedy? Suppositories. Up to 12 times a day. 12. With every feed, we have to give her one. Otherwise, she sputters, kicks, grunts, groans and moans but with nothing to show for it. It's been real.

Lexi has been pretty dang good, really. The poor thing has been shoved aside, ignored, put in front of the TV and has been really nice about it all. I've even had to tell her, "Momma needs to close her eyes now" and steal a 20 minute nap after the really rough nights. I feel terrible that our television is raising her right now. She has gotten really good at drawing and singing to herself since I've been splitting time between the two kids.

The poor thing has been suffering from growing pains and her 2 year molars. She is up most nights of the week crying about her legs hurting. Just when I get her settled, Addie is up and ready to eat. Most days, I think I'm going to die. I'm not quite sure how to make it through. But, it's just like eating an elephant. You do it one bite at a time. I do it one hour, one minute at a time. I'm sure all moms out there know the deal.

I can't wait until Addie is a few months older. Once she is sleeping longer than 45 minutes at a time during the day and thru the night, I'm sure I might be somewhat human again. I don't know, though. After being in this state for so long, can a person ever go back? Maybe I'll always have bloodshot eyes, messed up hair, and the mental capacity of a person in the advanced stages of dementia.....