Emily has colic. For those of you who haven't lived with a colicky baby, let me educate you:

That video is 20 seconds long. Pretty horrible, right? She does that for 3 hours straight every night. She's done that for 3 hours every night for the last 6 weeks. Every. Single. Night.

You're probably thinking, "Well, pick her up you dork!" I did. And right before I set her down, I had been walking and bouncing her to try and calm her. I'd been shushing her. I'd swaddled her. I'd given her the pacifier. After I took that video, I put her in the front baby carrier and walked around with her. She screamed the whole time. I had put her in the bouncer to see if she just wanted to be left alone. She DID NOT want to be left alone. Per the advice of the doctor, I swaddled her and put her in her crib. I get a break; she gets a break and could possibly fall asleep. No. She screamed non stop. She screams until it's time to eat again. And then, she refuses most of the bottle and becomes even more infuriated because she's starving, but it really pisses her off if I try to coax her into eating. (No, she's not hungry early either. I had considered that and thought maybe by meal time she's so over-the-top miserable, she can't even eat. I tried feeding her early. FAIL.)

The latest theory is that babies with colic lack the mechanism to shut down. By the time evening rolls around, they are overstimulated and exhausted but don't know how to turn themselves off. They are like this until the part of the brain that controls this "soothing" function matures - usually about 3 months. This is by far the most frustrating baby hurdle I've dealt with. Maybe a feeding aversion ties this for suckiness and mostly because those last longer. It's way worse than reflux. At least with reflux, there is a solution. There is no remedy for colic. (Yes, we've tried gripe water and ColicCalm.) Bottom line: colic sucks. When someone tells you they have or had a colicky baby, cry for them. I cry for me all the time.


Poetry of Life said...

I'm so sorry. I know it feels like it will never end right now. We feel for you!!!

Queen "B" said...

well....she's still the cutest baby in Pink jammies ever!!!1 OK, this too shall pass....I'll be right over!!
I wish:)
love u T

Anonymous said...

hope your happy - I was pleasantly re-adjusting to my selfish horsey adult life, naively thinking things would be just fine at your house and then I see this video of poor lil Emmy convulsing in tears.....thanks for the guilty feeling that I now have. So much for enjoying my evening....(not that I could stop the crying, but at least we could take turns walking her)

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What started as a way to communicate with far away friends and family has become a place for this horse trainer/HR manager turned stay at home mom of 3 girls to hold on to a bit of her own identity. It's my take on the ins and outs, the ups and downs, the thoughts and feelings, the mistakes and triumphs of this family as we bumble our way to eternity.