7!

One thing you definitely come to learn as you age and live a little life is that some years are over-the-top awesome, some are hum-drum and others just plain suck. This year has been pretty hum-drum. And really, since we've had lots of just plain sucky times, we're taking the hum-drumness with smiles on our faces.

We've been married 7 years. I woke up to a note written on the grocery list paper that said, "Happy Lucky 7. ACR" and the R was falling off the page like Allen was running out the door as he remembered, "Oh shiz! I got married 7 years ago today and better pretend I remembered."

I got Allen a card. It gets kind of irritating to find the card that really says what I feel. I'm not like, "Oh, the love of my life, I cry at every thought of you because I'm so overwhelmed with the love I feel. I'm sure we'll live in wedded bliss forever and ever and die holding hands." I'm more like, "Well, we've been wearing this old ball and chain long enough that it's getting rusty. Think we'll get lucky and it'll fall apart soon? Love ya!" Because I'm so tactful to boot, I have to find a card that accurately represents our relationship or Allen will 1) wonder if I'm ready for the crazy ward or 2) know I'm a big, fat liar. So, this year's card said we have a "special kind of love" - you know - "special" like the kind of folks who wear helmets on a daily basis. Anyhow, I wrote in some words of my own to show Allen just how much I had pondered our relationship: "I'm really not sure what to say. I'm kind of shell shocked. I guess we just keep putting one foot in front of the other - things will get better or at least we'll finally get to die." I'm a hopeless romantic, huh?

I made homemade pizza. It was awful. Addie screamed while Allen pretended to love it. Lexi took one bite and said, "Mom? I don't like this pizza...". I took one bite and told her I agreed. I then said, "this sucks" and we all bust up laughing because we were already sick of crying. So, Allen took Addie outside to play and Lexi and I got McDonald's. We did enjoy a nice picnic of sorts outside. Later, Allen read a book and I laid on the couch. He went to bed and two hours later I followed suit. I did have to punch him in the neck a few times for snoring and grinding his teeth so he did get a little action. It's only fair on such a special night and all.

I mean really, what do I say? We've managed to fight our way through lots of unpleasant experiences. We've also been incredibly blessed. Sometimes, we're super close and on the same page. Other times, we're on different planets. Together, we've laughed so hard we've cried. We've made some great choices, some poor. When I've been weak, Allen's been strong. I've been strong when he is weak. Sometimes, we're both weak at the same time and then life is horrible and terrible and we wonder why in the hell we ever thought this was the better part. Then, we'll climb out of the trenches and figure we can make it another year. We try to live the gospel in our home, try to forgive, try to empathize, try to create wholesome family memories, and try to be good examples. Most of the time, tryin' ain't doin, but that's never stopped us before so why quit now?

Neither one of us felt let down or disappointed because this year just passed us by and we didn't commemorate with fanfare. I think we've matured enough to have some patience. We know there will come a time when we'll have dinners alone and go out when we want and travel and enjoy quiet solitude. We know we'll be able to take evening walks without screwing up the baby's schedule or have to change diapers or wake up at 4 a.m. to console a child's fears. Someday, it will be just us here and we'll have loads of opportunity to do whatever we want. Being ok with all of this tells me that Allen and I are right where we need to be to make it another year. And another. And another. And I bet if that old ball and chain did fall apart, we'd sit down and just weld the damn thing back on.