Let's Just Try This...

I can't stand that response from doctors. I feel like we've been hearing that ever since Addie came home. I hate using my kid as a guinea pig and as test case for formula and medications.

Things have gotten so complicated with Addie's health, I've typed up a history to give to all the doctors we've seen. They seem to appreciate it; I see it as a sure sign we've been seeing way too many doctors and not getting nearly enough answers.

Last night at 1 a.m., Addie started pooping blood again. I could tell it was coming because she was kicking and screaming during her feed. She would grab her collar and pull down while screaming and sputtering. She was obviously in pain. She couldn't sleep between feeds and while she was awake, she was very fussy. This pattern continued until the morning hours. In the evening, she was still miserable. I called the doctor on call who suggested we go to the ER, again. My mommy radar wasn't telling me this was life threatening so I basically discarded her advice and called my great friend. Her great friend happens to be married to a great pediatrician. I wanted to talk to someone who would give me the real answer - not the "I'm required by law to say this" answer. He said to take her back in to the doctor and get a picture of her stomach.

This morning we went back in to the doctor. Our regular doc was finally back in the office after the Holiday so that made me much happier. I had decided, too, that I was very willing to go crazy mama to get results this time. I told her the Zantac was not working. I told her that I don't want another kid with an oral aversion who hates to eat because it hurts so bad. Something else that we discovered today: Addie has stopped gaining weight, too. Not the best sign if you ask me. I also told her my patience had run out and I really didn't want to be known as the mom that went ape sh*t, but I was pretty close to doing whatever it took to get this worked out. I'm done with the experiments. Let's just leap frog the crappy stuff and get to the good meds. Let's get the good tests run. I'm done. DONE!!!

She agreed with me. Mostly. We are now on Prevacid which is supposed to be the best stuff around for reflux. We also have Mylanta to give her a few times a day to help with the irritation. She didn't want to change formula and medication at the same time so we have to wait 2 days to see if we get a better response with the Prevacid. Our next appointment is Friday and if she still has blood or is uncomfortable during feeds, we have to change formula. This other stuff is broken down into amino acids and costs $50 for a small container. Aaaahhh!

I told her I wasn't waiting another month to figure out what is up with my kid. I want pictures to rule out anything serious and put my mind at rest. She agreed with me again, but wants to give it a few days. I swallowed deeply and gave her the look. She met my gaze with an equally defiant look. I could tell she was pretty determined to let the Prevacid work it's magic before making Addie swallow barium, get an ultrasound and have at tube jammed down her throat. Ok. I could see her point. So, we wait until next week. At the latest.

At this point, if we never have to see another doctor again it would be way too soon. It's been really hard to try and keep Addie's schedule with her tummy issues. She's constantly writhing around, crying, kicking, or throwing up her feeds which means she's totally exhausted from the struggle but very hungry because she can't keep her food down. I hate this battle. I would love to say, "but we're hopeful" but you know what? I'm not hopeful. I'm frustrated, tired and sick of having sick babies. I am grateful to have Addie. I can tell she wants to be a happy kid but is really hurting. I mean, really, I just want a kid that can eat and poop. Is that so much to ask? Can't our poor kids at least enjoy their first few years of food? Anyhow, I'm looking forward to getting on the other side of this challenge.