Dear Elliptical

I see you there across the room. With your non-skid pedals, long handles, and big fly wheel. I know I should just walk over and introduce myself. I know I should push your buttons and walk all over you. I know we should get hot and sweaty together. Ours should be a life long relationship.

But the truth is you scare me. I can look beyond your bright digital display with various programs and see you're going to cause me nothing put pain. I know you'll make my thighs burn and my heart race.You'll leave me feeling breathless and dirty. You exist only to torture me. No matter how hard I try, in the end, you will own me.

And that is why, tempting as you are, I stay away. Who knows. Maybe someday, someday soon even, I'll overcome your stronghold of intimidation. Until then, we'll continue this game of cat and mouse. You with your pedals still and your display dark. And me with my midnight snacks and vivid fantasies of firm body parts.

Your pawn,
Traci

The Engineer's Daughter

 

 Allen {frustrated}: Wait. You just told me, like, three different things to change. I feel like you're controlling me.

Me {seriously}: That's because I am controlling you.

Mission: FHE

I found this idea and thought it was so cute. We decided to spice it up a bit though.

We chose two families we thought would be game (and we liked) and everyone told me two reasons they loved them. I wrote down exactly what was said. For example, Lexi's was "I love them and I love them and I love playing with them." I wanted it to be genuine, you know.

To add a little fun, we chose to employ this activity with a Mission:Impossible theme. We donned our ski masks and glasses and set out to door bell ditch those we love the most.

The Stealth Mobile. (It's a diesel, folks.)

Operative Numero Uno reporting for duty.

We brought along security just in case we came up against the enemy.

Operative Temper Tantrum locked and loaded.

Operative Dad E Oh completely disguised. At this point, I put on the Mission: Impossible theme song and we went stealth.

Approaching the target. As we neared, I killed the headlights (and put it in neutral). This neighborhood has its own security. Just as we were trying to pull this off, security drove down the very court our targets lived on. We all sat perfectly still to avoid being noticed - with our ski masks on! Then, as Dad E Oh and Uno excited the Stealth Mobile, two neighborhood ladies walked right by. We waved and said, "Evenin!" Needless to say, we got a good laugh.

On the move.

Fleeing the scene.

The second phase of our mission. If you look closely, you can see Uno's jacket mid-air next to the blue truck. She and Dad E Oh made a quick get away.

Mission Completed!

Merry Christmas

Oh the Logic

Upon finding a significant mess...

Me {perplexed frustration}: What possessed you to do this?!?

Lexi {deep sigh}: My mind.

TOO!

Addie turned two. She is full of life and has a personality that is much larger than her little two year old body suggests. She has, um, shall I say a clear picture of what she wants in life. And when she wants it. She also has no issue telling you or anyone else if she's not happy about something as unfair as, let's say, rules or something ridiculous like that.

The funny thing about Addie is that she is also completely charming. Don't get me wrong; she is a total beast. No one, not even the grandparents, will argue that fact. But, she is also affectionate, full of laughter, incredibly smart, willing to listen to logic, fun loving, silly, gentle with babies and animals, a total girl's girl, and a tomboy at all once.

She is entering the stage where every day she learns two or three new words, phrases, or skills. She speaks full sentences sometimes. She is determined and a total self starter. For example, she has essentially potty trained herself. If us parents would just get on board, she'd probably be picking out princess skivvies tomorrow. Don't try to get in her way either. She will yell out, "I DO! Ido, Ido, Ido, Ido, Ido." Which is immediately followed by, "Need help." Yes, she even says it in an itty bitty voice, too.

We had a low-key party for Addie on her birthday. This was a first for us in that we had lots of family able to make it. What a treat. We had 4 generations together yet again. While it may seem cliche to say it, what a blessing! I know when we look back, we will be so grateful to have shared this together.

We had an ice cream bar with lots of yummy candies.

Of course, there was cake. Addie picked it out all.by.herself.

The guest of honor, herself.

Cousin Ben. He tries so hard to love Addie and she is so ornery. One day, Ben, she'll need your big hugs!

Grandpa Tee (Tweet). Don't let that face deceive you. He was over the moon to see the kids having fun. I promise.

Cousin Ah-brah (Aubree). Addie loves all thing Ah-brah.

Opening presents like an old pro.

Grandpa Bob got her a super cute mini-bike. Notice she is outfitted in a sweet back pack and season appropriate flip flops.

Like she'd done it a million times before.

Cousin Hannah pushing Addie. She's so lucky to have those cousins around who dote on her all of the time.

And lastly, a short video of Addie just so you all can get a "feel" for who she is.

Of course we aren't in the least be biased when we say that we think Addie is one of the cutest kids to ever grace the planet. So far, I haven't met a single person who can resist her charms. Our lives would be frightfully dull, and boring, and completely miserable without her.

We love you Addison!

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Reason 84937356575923 to Despise Big Government

We got our gas and electric bill today. It was over $250. And, we keep the temp pretty low. Not, like, 62 low - I do have little kids, you know - but we never set it above 68.

That 250 is for 5 weeks and the dumb furnace hasn't even been running very often. So you wanna know why it's as high as it is?

The gas and electric company gives each household a "baseline" useage. When you go over what THEY have deemed appropriate for your household, they increase the rate.

For example: Baseline is 20 hours. You pay .10/kwh (kilo watt hour) if you stay below 20. If you go over, they double it from the .10 to .20. No, wait. It gets better.

So, for the first 100-130% you go over, the rate is doubled. Then, if you go over by 130-200%, it is doubled again (from the already doubled rate). It keeps doubling every 100% after that.

Are you kidding me? Here's a novel idea: How about you just charge me for what I use? How about you don't try to back door regulate the people of this bass ackwards state.

And, who, by the way is the great and all mighty powerful being that decides what MY baseline is going to be?

But, why not? If you can legislate which light bulb I can use (And I'm stockpiling the super inefficient light bulbs by the way. You know, the normal ones that don't make you look like a blue acne queen. Yeah, and only the 100 watt ones too. So take that.) why not control the amount of light I can actually use in MY OWN home too? 

I suddenly feel the need to assemble and deliver some pipe bombs.

What We've Been Up To

Sitting up.

Cleaning. Dudes. That is hair. Not ours. Yeah, I totally barfed in my mouth too.

Pedicuring.

Torturing Playing with Uncle Brain.

Cuddling.

Packing.

Healing. (Now let me add here for my friends in ID. Long story short: The madre has been really, really sick for a long time. I went to serve. It was last minute and short, but great. We'll be up in the summer. And we'll get together. Promise!)

Decorating.

Just being.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
 -P.J O'Rourke

My house is spotless.

No, Seriously

We did get some great shots during that session. 

 

 Photos credit: Lora Hatch. 

Thank you Lora! You did an awesome job working in the rain with a grumpy toddler and a group of folks who wouldn't just look at the danged camera! Not to mention, the dog. THE DOG!